I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I am making the most of mine. I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend today. I wanted to share it because I think my friend asked a question that is pretty common.
My friend and I have known each other for years. We both have children and both have experience with Autism. What Autism and being transgender have in common is that you can't see either of them. You can scan the brain in every which way, run all sorts of tests and ultimately we can only diagnose them through observation. Another thing they have in common is that we don't know what causes either.
Now that you have the back story I will share our conversation. My friend is incredibly open minded and I would consider them an ally. Somewhere in our conversation I asked my friend the million dollar question. Literally I asked if I could give them a million dollars right now, but they would have to live the rest of their life in the body and voice of the opposite sex would they take it. My friend said no they would not. They explained that they wouldn't feel right. What a great answer. This of course is how a trans person feels every day. They may not be able to explain it but they don't feel right in the body they have.
Next my friend asked a question that I as a Christian grappled with for a very long time. "So what would you say to folks who take the stance of 'But this is how God made you'?" I have pondered this question. I've looked through scripture. I have talked to clergy. Eventually I formed my conclusion and this is it.
That's a tuffy isn't it? Why on earth would Go make me with the wrong body...or the wrong feelings? I suppose this depends on your feelings about God's intervention in conception. After all scripture tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Of course we can make the same argument for a child born with cancer, congenital heart defects or Autism right? I mean all of them would be considered less than perfection, unfair to the infant, not the parents fault, and kind of pointing to a mean God. None of them fit into our version of His plan. And we can write them off as "the Lord works in Mysterious ways". So lets say for a moment that my being transgender is similar to a heart defect in an infant. Both are not planned and both equally real even though we can't see one. In the heart defect if there was a surgery to fix it would we or would we say "that was God's plan, don't mess with it." I submit that if it could be fixed we would fix it.
Now perhaps you make the argument that the heart defect can be seen. I feel it's dangerous for a Christian to argue that something has to be visible to be real but we will follow this road. As I said my friend and I both have a child with an Autism spectrum disorder. Many people do in this day and age. Much like my being transgender you cannot see it but at this point we are willing to accept that autism disorders are a real thing. If we were able to give a child a cure for autism I think we all agree that we would. Are they really so common? Well the popular theory of the day is that being transgender happens somewhere after conception but before birth, although like with autism it may start to present at different ages in childhood.
So that brings us to me. Perfectly conceived by God and then somehow ZAP and I'm a little different. But unlike the heart defect there is no surgery. Like autism there is not pill. If there was a pill that would make me feel like I was in the right body I think most transgender people would choose that to transition. Sadly, that option doesn't exist. The prevailing medical opinion is that there is no psychotherapy that will "cure" being transgender.
This brings us to my self realization that I am transgender. We are accepting that by my paradigm We are perfectly conceived, that during pregnancy something somehow happened and that being trans is something you are born with. If you don't happen to be transgender I suppose we can agree to disagree on this point.
So that is how I explain it. I do believe that all of us are wonderfully and perfectly made by God. He gave us conception. God gave us a way for a man and a woman to miraculously conceive a perfect being. What happens to each individual being from that point on is effected by more factors than we can begin to contemplate. Some children are born with that heart defect, others autism. I was born transgender. It wasn't God's fault and it wasn't my moms. It just is.
Folks I'm not a minister, I'm not a doctor and I'm not a psychologist. I am a girl trying to make sense of the world while I make my way through it like the rest of you. I hope for a world filled with tolerance and acceptance. I don't know what God's plan for my life is but I know that His plan for all of us is to love one another as He loves us. Thanks for reading.
"Nothing is too girly and nothing is too masculine. But I do love color, and maybe that's a little girly - especially pink." Stacy London